dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
