just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize