At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
