I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
