Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
