No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So apparently I’m into choking now
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