Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Randomize