didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
