Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
