Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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