I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
