You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
