Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
