I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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