I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
