Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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