I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
