My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
