Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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