Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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