Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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