Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
