Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
God, I missed his penis.
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