She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
