so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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