Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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