when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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