I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
