Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
