You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
