the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize