Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So here I am, sexting at work.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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