He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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