I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
