I think I won the penis lottery.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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