Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
