I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
even my farts smell like vagina
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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