No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
