she woke up with a sticky ear
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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