goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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