I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize