Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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