tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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