just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize