I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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