he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
