i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
