letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
