I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
