he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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