this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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