my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
