The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
