How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
