i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
