I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
