with your own penis?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
