He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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