Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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