I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
