Duck Duck Cougar?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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