I am puke
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
