I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
