We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
