i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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