You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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