If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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